Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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