Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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