big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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