i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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