Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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