the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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