apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
