Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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