He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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