I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize