It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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