I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
