wrigley field is MILF paradise
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize