I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
