And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
