I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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