I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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