So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
