Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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