I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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