I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize