One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
soo... how was my night?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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