you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We got so high we made milksteak
her facebook's as public as her vagina
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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