dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
