why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
