You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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