Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
not ubering you a puppy
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