I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize