I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize