We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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