We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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