Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
