They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
