They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
