woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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