You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
