Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's blow job season.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
