Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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