so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
the raccoons are back...
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