apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
