His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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