I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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