the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
