I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
