Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
