if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
