Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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