Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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