I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
