my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
