There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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