just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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