was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize