Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
