My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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