So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
