My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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