Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
