If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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