The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Green mimosas i think yes
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
