I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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