remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
