If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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