Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm jealous of your bromance
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
