I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
