It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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