Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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