Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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