Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
