I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Rumble strips road head = magical
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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