Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize