Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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