So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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